Hollywood Haiku III: The Tarantino Edition

Here is the latest edition of that ever-popular regular series Hollywood Haiku.  This is the third edition (the one that started it all was for a contest by the fine folks over at Best For Film - a contest won by my lovely and talented better half).  Now without further ado, let us get this show on the road.  Here is the Hollywood Haiku: Tarantino Edition.

Reservoir Dogs
Heist film with a twist
The heist that was never shown
No one left alive

True Romance
Clarence and the whore
Her name is Alabama
And love conquers all

Pulp Fiction
It shines like pure gold
Marsellus Wallace's Soul
Kisses Me Deadly

From Dusk Til Dawn 
The Gecko Brothers
One becomes a vampire
One is George Clooney

Jackie Brown 
From Blaxsploitation
Came Miss Foxy Jackie Brown
The Lady kicks ass

Kill Bill, Vol. 1
In Pussy Wagon
Uma wiggles her big toe
Starts off killing spree

Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Beatrix Kiddo
Five Point Palm Exploding Heart
She saves her daughter

Death Proof
Crazy Stuntman Mike
Went to the Vanishing Point
He picked the wrong girls

Inglourious Basterds
Basterd true and blue
He's Aldo the Apache
And he wants his scalps

Inglourious Basterds (Shosanna)
She ran from her death
They respect directors here
Used film as revenge

Hollywood Haiku II: Foreign Edition

Here is the new edition of that ever-popular regular series Hollywood Haiku.  Okay, this is only the second edition (the first was for a contest by the fine folks over at Best For Film - a contest won by my lovely and talented better half) but there are mighty aspirations for the future so it will one day become ever-popular.  Now without further ado, let us get this show on the road.  Here is the Hollywood Haiku: Foreign Edition.

Battleship Potemkin

Soviet montage

Upon the Odessa Steps

Cinema was born

La Passion de Jeanne d'Arc

She doth bear her cross

Her eyes like forsaken loss

She would burn for God

The Red Shoes

Victoria Page

She danced as if she had to

But the red shoes won

La Regle du jeu

He showed class warfare

The ugly truth of his world

Man and beast as one

Persona

Two women are one

Cinema is aware

Reality ends

Bicycle Thieves

A man and his bike

A social commentary

The world is unfair

Belle de jour

Unable to feel
She let Man devour her

To find the answers

Tokyo Story

Past is forgotten

Of children's self-absorption

A man is alone

The Exterminating Angel

They cannot escape

Held inside their worst of fears

Trapped inside themselves

8 1/2

Guido had the world

Oh asa nisi masa

What to do with it

That is it for the inaugural Foreign Edition of Hollywood Haiku.  Next time we will be back with the third installment of this new running feature, the Tarantino Edition.  C'mon, if you knew anything about me, you knew that was coming.  Until then please remember, I love you Honey Bunny.

Hollywood Haiku: And The Winner Is...My Lovely, Poetic Better Half

For those of you who regularly haunt these pages (and you know who you are) you should remember a few weeks back when I posted my official entry in Best For Film's Hollywood Haiku Competition.  You should also remember that along with my own ten seventeen-syllabled entries, I also entered two of my lovely wife, Jeanette Amy Trout's haiku - including an especially good one on the film Breathless (incidentally the Missus's second favourite film of all time).  

My main reason for doing this (other than loving my wife of course) was because I figured I didn't have the proverbial shot in hell of winning, but my much much much much more talented wife did.  Mine, as they say, do not even hold a candle to hers - not even in the same ballpark (to toss in another cliche).  Well lo and behold, guess who won (as if you could not have already guessed by reading the title of the post).  That's right true believers, the lovely Ms. Trout did.   

The full list of winners and runners-up can be seen HERE.  And even though you can read the winning haiku at that link (along with some wonderful praise - as well as two of my meager entries) it is so nice, let's see it twice.

Breathless

Jean-Paul's thumb chafes lip

While watching sweet Jean's hips twitch

Jilts the death of him

So super congratulations to my lovely wife, Jeanette Amy Trout - winner of Best For Film's Hollywood Haiku Competition (and a lovely new Blu-ray player to boot!).  And to make it even more fun, I had entered her haiku without her knowing so when the winners were announced earlier tonight she was elated to say the least.  In fact she was too giddy to even fall asleep.  She even called the only person we know that would still be up at 1am and who would be as thrilled by this as we were.  She's so damn cute.  I love her so.
 

Hollywood Haiku: Classic Edition

The good folks over at Best for Film have challenged their fellow movie bloggers to the ultimate haiku challenge.  Okay, perhaps it isn't the ultimate haiku challenge, but it sounds more ominous that way, so ultimate it remains.  Seriously though, there is a haiku contest and as any red-blooded American boy with a deep-seeded need to crush all those around him in victorious mayhem, here are my entries for said ultimate haiku challenge, aka Hollywood Haiku Competition.  

But first, to make it official (boilerplate stuff and all): This is an entry for the Best For Film Hollywood Haiku blogging competition. Enter now.

Citizen Kane

He once had a sled

Fondly remembered Rosebud

Good ole Charlie Kane

Casablanca

Play it again Sam

Was never even said once

But Sam played it still

Double Indemnity

Poor ole Walter Neff

He threw away everything

For Stanwyck's great legs

Modern Times

Sound had come around

But Charlie kept his silence

In these Modern Times

All About Eve

Margot was the star

Eve came and stole it away

Twas a bumpy ride

Singin' in the Rain

Lockwood and Lamont

One was great, the other not

Cosmo made 'em laugh

Ninotchka

The Soviets came

Disliked U.S. decadence 

Oh then Garbo laughed

The Wizard of Oz

First to Munchkinland

Then off to see the Wizard

In between, witch dies

The African Queen

Bogie and Hepburn

She's a prude, he drinks a lot

Won him the Oscar

Rio Bravo

Hawksian Western

Dino, Ricky and The Duke

It is what they've got

The above ten haiku will count as my official entry in the contest, but this will not (by a long shot) be my last blog post under the banner of Hollywood Haiku.  This "Classic Edition" will be followed by a "Foreign Edition" and (of course - as anyone who knows me can attest to its placement here) a "Tarantino Edition".   After these initial entries you will see entries with such (obvious) themes as "Film Noir", "Revisionist Western", "Gangster Movies" and "Musicals", as well as more specific themes such as "Star Wars", "Howard Hawks", "Powell & Pressburger" and (of course) more of the "Tarantino Edition".  Basically what I am saying is you will see a lot more of these Hollywood Haiku coming down the line (this will either thrill you or annoy you, depending on your outlook on certain things).  Each edition will consist of ten (or so) haiku and they will (probably) come at a rate of about 2 or 3 per month. 


But before I go, I would like to add two more haiku to this entry.  They are both written by my lovely and talented wife, Jeanette Amy Trout - which pretty much means they are about a billion times better than mine.  If the fine folks over at Best For Film want to accept these as official entries they most certainly can (she deserves poetic accolades much more than I do).  If they do not, then that is their loss.  Whatever the case, here they are.


The Wizard of Oz
Dreamer Dorothy
Gale twists from Kansas to Oz
Unmasks Wizard's scam


Breathless
Jean-Paul's thumb chafes lip
While watching sweet Jean's hips twitch
Jilts the death of him


The second one (on a film my wife just recently saw for the first time and immediately fell in complete and utter love with) is my favourite.  If only I could write a haiku even a fraction as good as this...but alas.  I want to thank my wife for her contributions (even if they make mine pale in comparison) and welcome her to write as many more as she wants (for the aforementioned future Hollywood Haiku blog posts).  'nuff said.